Look Me in the Eye Final Post (Finish the Book)
Choose one or two of the following prompts (from the Random House Website) and respond to it (them). Your response should be at least 300 words.
Respond by Tuesday night at 8:00 p.m. (as usual)1. When a man is offended by John calling him a Montagoonian because he comes from a town called Montague, John writes that the man had no right to be offended because that’s where he lived, and if he didn’t like it, that he should move.
Questions: What do you think of John’s use of nicknames to refer to others? In the case of the man from Montague, do you agree with John, that he had no right to be offended? Should John have stopped calling the man a Montagoonian simply because he was offended, even if he disagreed with the logic? Why/ Why not?
2. John describes growing apart from and ultimately divorcing Little Bear, and his next marriage to Martha. John wonders whether or not he picked the best mate in Martha, and considers her other two sisters as potentially better alternatives.
Questions: What criteria should you use when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend? What criteria should not be a factor in this process? Is it normal to have doubts about your mate? How should you deal with these doubts?
4. John writes about how he made peace with his parents during the writing of
Questions: What criteria should you use when choosing a boyfriend/girlfriend? What criteria should not be a factor in this process? Is it normal to have doubts about your mate? How should you deal with these doubts?
3. John uses the metaphor of a train to describe his life, equating himself to the “Little Engine That Could,”
a favorite story of his as a child. He used to imagine himself as that little engine, and carried the refrain with him: “I think I can, I think I can...” He shares that the competing voices he heard were difficult to ignore: “You’re a failure,” “You belong in prison,”etc. John attributes his success to hard work. Questions: Identify ways that John showed tenacity and perseverance in his life. What great things would you like to accomplish in your life?
a favorite story of his as a child. He used to imagine himself as that little engine, and carried the refrain with him: “I think I can, I think I can...” He shares that the competing voices he heard were difficult to ignore: “You’re a failure,” “You belong in prison,”etc. John attributes his success to hard work. Questions: Identify ways that John showed tenacity and perseverance in his life. What great things would you like to accomplish in your life?
4. John writes about how he made peace with his parents during the writing of
his book. John describes his last days with his father.
Questions: Describe John’s relationship with his father at different stages in John’s life. How did John’s reconciliation with his father affect his memory of events?
Questions: Describe John’s relationship with his father at different stages in John’s life. How did John’s reconciliation with his father affect his memory of events?
Prompt #4:
ReplyDeleteIn the forward of the book, Augusten Burroughs writes, “My big brother and I were essentially raised by two different sets of parents. His mother and father were an optimistic young couple in their twenties, just starting out in their marriage, building a new life together [...] I was born eight years later. I was an accident that occurred within the wreckage of their marriage. By the time I was born, our mother’s mental illness had taken root and our father was a dangerous, hopeless alcoholic. My brother’s parents were hopeful and excited about their future together. My parents despised each other and were miserable together.” This section stood out to me because John’s story was largely impacted by his relationship with his parents. Growing up without an Asperger’s syndrome diagnosis, he was labeled as a troublemaker, and even sometimes as psychotic. When he was very young, and his parents were still a happy couple, he had lots of love and support within his family. It was important for him to feel that love and support, since he had trouble interacting with children his age. As John got older, his parents’ relationship started to deteriorate. This time of his life was when his reputation as a prankster began; it was harmless at first, but over time his jokes escalated to the point of being incredibly disturbing. His grand idea of staging a fake hanging and calling the police is a good example of this. John Elder was an outcast among his peers. Between his social struggles and his rapidly worsening grades, his future didn’t look very bright. His stress and insecurity at home must have had a significant impact on this. John’s young adulthood could have been much happier if he had continued to get support from his parents. Instead, his father was an abusive alcoholic, and his mother’s mental health was very instable. All of these factors contributed to John’s decision to drop out of high school and leave his home. He was definitely not set up for success. After he moved out, and for much of his adult life, his relationship with his mother and father was quite fragile. He kept in touch with them, but was never as close with them as he had been in his childhood. This is part of what makes his father’s eventual death so sad. On one occasion, when John’s dad was nearing the end, John asked him if there were any good times they had together. His father began to tell stories of John’s childhood, and the two of them reminisced about when they had been happy together. I was very happy to read this part of the book, since it would’ve been especially tragic if John’s father died before the two of them made peace. Also, since John’s dad finally got a chance to redeem himself, it gives readers a new perspective when thinking about some of the events that happened in both of their lives. John Elder wrote that he hopes his retelling of events weren’t too harsh, since he knows that it would be unfair to make his father the sole antagonist of the story. I think the ending of Look Me In The Eye was satisfying, since it really displayed how John Elder Robison figured out how to find happiness and be successful as a person with Asperger’s syndrome.
~Ceci Luce
I also found the part where Augusten wrote about the fact that despite he and John had the same parents they were completely different people for him was interesting.
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Prompt 2.
ReplyDeleteI think there are a lot of things that go into choosing someone to spend the rest of your life with, and sometimes those things change. Divorce is so common for a lot of reasons, but most of the time I feel it is that as you get older, your priorities change, and sometimes the needs you have become different. I think that is exactly what happened with Little Bear and John. I understand it because my parents just grew apart, and they got divorced, and we’re still happy. John did not think that he was ever going to find someone, or be happy. That’s because he just had needs that were different because of his Aspergers. John and Little Bear were able to have an amazing son. I think that is maybe why it was hard for John to imagine his life with anybody else. He met Little Bear so young that he probably could not imagine his life with anybody else, plus they had a son together. But John ended up finding Martha, and he knew she was right for him, and she did too. (Actually, she probably did before John did, because John mentioned he did not really think someone could be someone else’s soulmate right away). Martha understood him and his needs now. Although Little Bear knew the old John, the one who he believed to be damaged and broken, Martha knew the man that John had become, and the man he had become by overcoming many things. When he was with Little Bear, those things that made him broken defined him, but he decided to grow from them, and realized that those things did not define him anymore. I think the best criteria when looking for a partner is to decide and manage what you want, what you can put into the relationship, and what you want out of it. It is important to show who you really are and be yourself when finding the right person, because otherwise, it just will not work. It is so necessary for your partner to know the most important things about you, but it is also okay for you not to tell every little thing right away, especially the things you have moved on from. Being in a relationship is hard, and I am proud of John for finding the person he can see himself growing old with, and the person who helps and comforts him the most.
I think it's very interesting that you pointed out how your priorities change as you get older, and I think that makes a lot of sense for why a lot of marriages don't work out.
Delete- Leo
This is a really good analysis. I agree with you about the priorities of people changing as they get older. I would also assume that is what happened to John. John and little bear were together ever since they were young. While their priorities changed as everyones do their perspectives and interests didnt seem to be similar. Because of this I would say they weren't a good match from the start and time emphasized that.
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ReplyDeleteI think that it is very interesting to see how John gives other people nicknames. I find this interesting because John gives other people nicknames because it helps him to remember details about them. For example, the man from Montague. John called him a “Montagoonian” because the nickname reminded John that the man was from Montague. So it is interesting to me to see what John associates with the other people around him.
John does not see anything wrong with calling people by the nicknames he has given them. Family, friends, or people that know John well have come to terms with this because they understand that he is going to give them nicknames and they understand why he calls them these names. However, to those other people who do not know John well, these nicknames can be considered offensive or rude, as the man from Montague did.
John believes that the “Montagoonian” man had no right to be offended by being called such a name because it was the man’s own fault that he lived where he did. If he did not want to be called a “Montagoonian” he should move somewhere else. It John’s mind this is logical and makes sense. I can understand John’s opinion that it is the man’s fault but I can also understand how the man from Montague could find this offensive. John probably should have stopped calling the man a “Montagoonian” merely because the man was offended by this. But this is not the way John’s mind works.
Nicknames are like labels, especially the way John gives out nicknames. And often when people get a label or nickname attached to them they get upset. They do not even take the time to understand what they are being called, they are immediately trying to defend themselves. But what if the label does fit you and you take pride in that label, then it would not be an issue. I think that the people being label who say “don’t judge a book by its cover” or “get to know me before you judge me” should take their own advice and use it toward their labels. So yes I understand why the man from Montague found being called a “Monagoonian” offensive, but I do not think he needed to get so offended by it.
While I would agree that being called a “Montagoonian” could be offensive to some people, it is the man’s fault for living there. In the book Robison say “sometimes [he] recognizes existing naming conventions” (244), such as the time when he refers to George the lawyer as a Montagoonian. In my mind, the fact that this is the standard way of naming something takes away the man’s right to complain, as that was a choice he consciously made when moving to Montague. Yes, I can see that the man was offended, and yes, I can understand why it might be found offensive, but it was the lawyer’s choice to live there and be referred to as a resident of that area. Maybe John should not continue calling George a Montagoonian, but he was completely justified in calling the man one originally. In this case “Montagoonian” is not a nickname, but a piece of information given in a rather traditional fashion. Despite some of these minor disagreements, I think your final analysis is very sound. The man was understandably offended, but the level of offense taken did not match what should have happened.
DeleteMy thoughts when somebody is looking for someone to spend the rest of their life with is confusion. I think the reason that I think it's confusing is because how do you know that's what you want or who you want. I guess it could be how one person treats the other or because they wouldn’t do anything to hurt the other or even they just connect really well and they want that for the rest of their life. I know that would be some of the reasons I could fall in love with someone. It’s just really scary for me but I think for a lot of people marriage is a lifetime of commitment, and yet after all of those reasons I’m still confused because like I said before “how do you know”. If I was going to fall in love I would probably over think about what could happen when I fall in love would the person I fell in love with change in the sense that they were nice before and there not now or they are just not the person you feel in love with. I honestly think that would be so scary and I guess having doubts is normal because nothings perfect so why should we try to find something perfect when there's always going to be something different. So from the book to real life I think it is kind of the same thing because Martha and John didn't have a great life from the beginning because John didn't really believe in soulmates in a way. Which means Martha probably thought John didn't like her even though they were meant for each other.
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ReplyDeleteIn response to prompt number four. John writes heavily about his father, to me it seems obvious that his father hugely shaped who John is now. The previous declaration of course is not to say that the molding of John brought to him by his father was positive or enjoyable. This is but rather to say while he may have been abused by his alcoholic father and been the brunt of many abuses caused by his father's alcoholism, it shaped him through struggle and indeed torment to who he is now. This is very important when talking about their relationship because theirs is the most easily recognized as an unusual dynamic.
John's father was not always this way. What we can assume from the reading is he started life as a young professor with a wife and a promising future. Because of his risk factors or some condition he turned to alcohol and was never truly free from it.
The end of the book makes reference to when John was young John's father was a different man and before his severe alcoholism was charming and a loving father. So from what we know this stage was the golden stage of their relationship. Later when John was a bit older he began to fear his father. His father would hit him and then his younger brother. At this stage John would think of killing him for his abuse. As John grew older the fear diminished as his father had stopped hitting him and he had a renewed sense of self and confidence as his age increased. This of course was no fix for their relationship. After John left home much of their relationship was lost and neither of them seemed sad about this or to have any resolve to connect.
Later in life John's father and him were able to connect with each other to some extent. They didn't have a close relationship although gradually they became closer. I would assume John comes to the realisation that the alcohol caused the abuse rather than some inherent evil in his dad. The end of the book when his dad is dying helps to resolve their relationship and shows the dad does indeed love John and John forgives him on some level.
For this post I chose prompt #3. I think that John showed many moments of great persistence throughout his life. One such one was when he decided to start his own business. He chose to leave behind a very good and well paying job simply because it was not interesting to him. Even though his business went ok at the beginning it seemed to flop almost at once. John could just as easily decided then and there that he wanted to go back to what he had done before. But he didn't. He persevered and worked hard to make his business into a success. Despite the fact that he had never even owned a business before he still managed to pull it from the brink of failure and turned it into an incredibly successful business. Another point at which he managed to persevere through a difficult thing was when he started on the music scene. After all he didn't just start out making guitars for KISS. He started at the very bottom and through many months and years of hard work he managed to start making guitars for one of the biggest bands at the time. This took many sacrifices on his part and much of his time and energy. But after all his hard work he again persevered and was living the life i'm sure many only dream of.
ReplyDeleteI think that one of the things I want to do in life is to graduate high school and then college. I would probably also like to attend Medical school.Another goal that ties into that one is to be able to work in the medical field. Doing what exactly Im still exploring. Other such goals I would like to accomplish is perhaps the chance of maybe being able to publish a book of some kind. Im sure there are many other things I wish to accomplish but not much more I can think of at this moment.
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ReplyDeleteJohn’s use of nicknames for other people is conflicting. I can see how nicknames like this are useful for him. However, I can also definitely see how other people are uncomfortable with them. Like in Martha’s case, anyone hearing the nickname “Chubster” would think that John was making fun of her weight. For a lot of people, nicknames can make it easier to remember people, or amuse them. For the person who gets stuck with the nickname, though, it’s not always as amusing.
In the case of the attorney from Montague, I don’t understand why the man took offense. The nickname was only describing where he’s from. But I also think everyone has the right to decide what they want to be called. I don’t know exactly why the man took offense to being called a Montagooian, but if he doesn’t want to be called a Montagooian, then others should respect that. John had no way of knowing the man wouldn’t want to be called a Montagooian. But he definitely should have stopped calling him that after the man had an adverse reaction to it. Everyone has the right to pick the way that people address them.
I can think of one reason why the man might have been offended at being called a “Montagooian attorney.” In general, people don’t like being defined by one mundane aspect about them, for instance where they live. If someone was introduced to me as the Montagooian attorney, then that’s how I would always think of them--their job and where they live. Though these are important details about a person, I think many people would rather be known to others as something more interesting. Like the guy who can play the Mii theme on the piano, or the woman who skied in the Olympics.
- Leo
This is a really good response, Leo, and I agree with everything you said. I was also on the fence about John’s tendency to give people nicknames. From a reader’s perspective, they all seemed funny and harmless (I especially liked Snort and Varmint). But if I were in some of the characters’ shoes, I guess I might feel offended. I can understand why John’s wife, Martha, doesn’t like being called Chubster. Even though she clearly isn’t overweight, since the nickname was derived from her obsession with being healthy, it’s not exactly complimentary. However, I was a little surprised that the “Montagoonian attorney” took offense from being referred to that way. If I were called “the Thetfordian student,” for example, I don’t think I would feel insulted. I might find it a bit strange, since it’s kind of a generalization about me, but after all, it is true. It seems like John is the kind of person to try and analyze other people to such an unimaginative degree, whether or not they like it. I thought your last paragraph was very insightful. There are definitely more interesting aspects of a person than their hometown and their occupation, so maybe it would be different if John created nicknames based on those facts. I can see why it would be better to be defined by something that’s captivating and specific about you.
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ReplyDeleteThere are many factors that should influence who you want to spend the rest of your life with. John says that he likes Martha because she makes him feel comfortable and knows how to calm him down. Like John, your significant other should make you feel happy and want to be around and with them, like how he feels with Martha. Another thing to consider when being in a long term relationship is if a person has the same views as yourself. Suppose that you and the other person had drastically different opinions on certain things, you would not want to be together for a long time, or you would just argue a lot which might not be good either. You also should be with someone who treats you and other people with respect. If you are not respected or the other person does not treat people with the respect they deserve, then it would not feel right to be in a relationship. One thing I thought was a little weird was how John talks about maybe making the wrong decision on choosing his mate. I do think that it is fine to have small doubts when choosing who you want to spend the rest of your life with, but it seems a little insensitive of John to compare Martha to her sisters. However, he might not know that it could hurt her feelings, due to his Asperger's, but I would be a little hurt if I was asked if I was the best one to choose out of my sisters. If someone has large doubts about who they want to be with, it might not be good to be with them for a while. With that, if they are small doubts, like weird habits or not agree with a small issue, then it might not matter. But if you think that a person might cheat on you or is keeping secrets, then it might not be the best idea to be with them. If you also do not look forward to being with them, like how John says he feels at the end of his marriage with Little Bear, then you probably should not be in a relationship. However, John seems to really like being with Martha and is happy to be together with her.
Hi Maddy! I really liked reading your post, mostly because everything you said is what I would say, I totally agree with you on all your different parts in this. I agree, that when you are with someone, that they should make you feel safe and comfortable, this is so incredibly important because it could be the person you spend the rest of your life with. Being also with someone who has the same views as you is also important, because it can lead to lots of fights. I personally could not be with someone who has drastically different views than me. It is okay to not agree on whether or not summer is your favorite season, but there are some things where they just become dealbreakers. I agree, as someone with sisters, I have and hate each time being compared to them. Totally insensitive. I am glad that he found Martha though and I can see that you agree. Overall, great response Madz.
DeleteIn John's life, he likes things his way. He likes to call people by the names he’s given and he likes to do things the way he chooses. With the life he was living it was probably not the easiest to have that feeling of calm safe control. His father was abusive and his mother slowly became mentally unhealthy. With that combination of parents, that feeling of control of doing things how you like seems rare. Although John dealt with an abusive father, insane mother, and a little brother he had to keep an eye on, he seemed to do well in life. Having a complicated family, John went on to do some amazing things. John got to work with the band Kiss and started from the bottom and worked his way to the top of a corporation company, and also risked a lot and started a mechanic shop that grew to employ 12 people. John may have had a bad home life, dropped out of high school, went through a divorce, but he came out of it on top. There are things in my life I like to be a certain way too. I don't think Johns alone in liking the feeling of some control. I understand wanting something a certain way. Every month or so I move my room around because I get bored with how my current room is, if I don’t it's hard for me to sleep. In my life there aren’t any great huge goals I want to accomplish. I want to graduate high school, I want to graduate college, I want to get a job, I want to succeed, I don’t want to be famous or anything. My big goal I’d like to accomplish in life is that I want to be happy and healthy and I want my family to be happy and healthy.
ReplyDelete~ Mary Veracka
I agree with everything you said in your response. I found it interesting that you related John's need for control to his home life. I had thought that his home life may have been a factor but I did not look into as deeply as you seemed to have done. I also like that you listed the challenges he faced and that in the end John overcame them and was in control of his life. I also like how you then related it to your self saying that you move your room around every month or so. Even though it may not be quite the same as John's need for control or John's goals it is a great comparison.
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ReplyDeletePrompt 2
ReplyDeleteI found the part of the book where John talks about his marriage to Martha very strange. At first I was a little disappointed that he and Little Bear didn’t stay together because they were childhood sweethearts and they had been together for a long time. It was a good reminder, however, that this book is about real life and in real life, not all couples are meant to be together. I thought it was odd when John was wondering if he got the best sister when he chose Martha because he made it sound like he didn’t love Martha very much. Even though he said he was being “logical,” it just seemed rude to me that he was considering Martha’s sisters as possibly better mates.
I think when choosing a significant other, you should look for someone who possesses certain qualities that you would want in them. For example, if you want someone who will make you laugh, look for someone who will make you laugh. I think you ultimately want to find someone who will make you happy and who will love you as much as you love them.
I definitely do not think you should try to find the best person to marry in one family. I think you meet someone you love by chance, not by comparing them to their siblings and narrowing down your choices. Siblings can have very different personalities, so they might not have the same qualities that your mate has that make you want to be with them.
I think it is very normal to question whether you are with the right person or not. People have little moments in life where they doubt everything, and relationships get questioned often. If you are wondering whether or not you really have the best partner, I think you should ask yourself if you are happy when you’re with them, and if you’re happy about the fact that you are their partner. Then, I think you should think about the future and if you could see yourself being happy with that person later in life.
John and Martha seem very happy together, and I think it’s really great how Martha can calm John down and help him through things. I don’t know if Martha would be particularly happy with John if she knew that he was considering her sisters as better mates, but she seems to understand him, so she might be okay with it. In the end, John married Martha, so they must be right for each other in some ways.
I was also disappointed when John and Little Bear got divorced, you made a good point, though, about how this is real life, so not everything is going to end perfectly. I definitely agree with you regarding how he talked about “whether he chose the right sister”. It really did make his relationship with Martha come off as more than a bit ingenuine. I agree with your statements about what someone should look for in a partner, and I also think that, like you said, trying to find someone you love shouldn’t be some kind of contest where you whittle down the contestants until there’s only one left. You’re right about how questioning the relationships in one’s life is a completely normal occurrence. Love is a very complicated thing, and you don’t really get to choose who you fall in or out of love with. It is good, however, that John and Martha seem to have a relatively healthy, very loving relationship where they both feel supported and happy. I really enjoyed reading about your perspective on these things. Your response was well written and clear. As is evident by my writings above, I agreed with you on pretty much every point. Thank you for sharing your opinion.
DeletePrompt #3:
ReplyDeleteOne of the biggest themes in this book has been John Elder’s strength and perseverance. He has gone through so many struggles in his life with abusive parents and constant feeling of being an outsider. One of the first stories told in this book recalls John Elder’s social struggles as a child. He has trouble making friends, and he cannot understand why the other children did not like him. I think this is when he first realizes that he is different from others, and as the reader sees when the book progresses, society is not always kind to him in regards to those differences. He states that “he could have withdrawn further”(209) and became a Savant if it was not for adults who taught him how to socialize. Although he went through stages of loneliness, John Elder learned through experience and observation how to improve his social skills and interact with others. I am blown away by his ability to do this in a time where Aspergers was not a diagnosis and no one was there to guide him through his struggles. He was left to his own devices socially and still persevered which shows immense strength. Later in the book, he goes on to mention that his son also has Aspergers, only a less severe version, and how he sees himself in his son saying that “I'd watch him make the same mistakes I did, and I would cringe” (131). I am sure that seeing his son struggle brought back unpleasant memories for John Elder but he was able to take from his own experiences and aid his son with his Aspergers. He says that now his son has sleepovers with many friends and he is very proud of him. This is just one example of how John Elder has turned his experiences into lessons and knows how he has grown from them. For all of his life he was told he would fail, in school, work, and life. However, this only gave him more determination to succeed. He excelled in his studies and careers, persevering through all of others doubts.
I am very inspired by John Elder’s strength and I hope that I can carry his grit and perseverance with me through my life. As for what I want for myself, I am not quite sure. I have been thinking a lot about my future lately and I seem to always come up blank. Although the future is uncertain for me, I am at peace with that. I know that I have time to figure it out and when I finally do, I will be ready to achieve all of my dreams just like John Elder did.
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DeleteHi Mary!
DeleteI thought your post was amazing. You bring up John Elder having a son who also has Aspergers. John struggled to watch his son deal with Aspergers, and though it was not quite as severe, he still would cringe when he saw his son make the same mistakes he did. Although there were some cringe moments for John, watching his son go to sleepovers and have multiple friends made John Elder very proud of his son. You used John’s son’s ability to socialize as an example to show how John Elder has turned his experiences into lessons to teach his son. I thought this was very interesting that you said this. I hadn’t thought about John’s son and how John was able to teach him to be prepared to make friends and socialize. John Elder was always directed to failure. This came from his peers, teachers, and family. But this only made him want to work harder to find success, which he eventually did. He became very successful and found happiness with his success and family. I thought you had a very good piece and you had some new ideas that I had not even thought of.
Prompt 3:
ReplyDeleteWhat great things would you like to accomplish in your life, is a hard question to answer. I would like to accomplish a lot of things. Maybe what I wanted to do when I was 8, was a lot different then what I want to do now. I think my expectations are different from what they were 5 years ago. What I would like to accomplish in my life now is getting good grades, finding some sort of new hobby or a job, and speaking up for myself more. I feel like these are very basic compared to what John Elder had accomplished. But no one has ever said to me, “You’re a failure,” or “You belong in prison, ” so I feel like my accomplishments aren’t as meaningful. I’m not saying I’m not proud of what I’ve done, but maybe they are just not as important to me as they are to John Elder. The Little Engine that Could, helped John push past these hurtful comments. “I think I can,” is more than just a quote from a book. I think of it as a lifestyle. I CAN get through this, I CAN move through this tough situation. John dropped out of high school. In his later years, he moved back to where he went to school, he felt like a fraud after attending one of the school’s basketball games. When he was reminded that he wasn’t the only student who dropped out he felt better about himself. The basketball coach told him that he would always be welcome at that school and always would be a part of the alums. Before this moment, John would lie about his schooling and his age. I believe this was his attempt of leaving his past behind him. It would however come up to haunt him sometimes and he was never able to forget about it. John was embarrassed that he dropped out of high school. I think that “I think I can,” really helped him through this position, for although it lasted a long time, he was always able to find a good job or find someone or something that would make him happy.
Response to #1
ReplyDeleteI think John’s use of nicknames is fine. It’s normal to forget people’s names or shorten their names to phrase/word that reminds you of the person or just a shortened way of saying their name. But I do believe that the nicknames should be called in a polite manner, and not in a way of bullying or making fun of someone. If you are going to call someone by a nickname, you should have their consent and make sure it does not make them uncomfortable. Of course, when John called George a “Montagoonian”, he was not making fun of him. John was just expressing that George and his wife were from Montague, which is harmless. And his reasoning makes perfect sense. John said “...people who live in America are called Americans. People who live in Canada are called Canadians. So what are people who live in the town of Montague?... I had observed that people-when meeting someone for the first time-will invariably ask two questions: ‘Where do you live?’ and ‘What do you do?’. [John’s] statement addressed both questions with a fine economy of words, and no waiting delay”(244). John just wished to relieve the people meeting George and his wife, Barbara, of asking the same questions over and over, so he had no ill-intentions. But I can definitely see why George was offended.
Before answering this question, I looked up to see if ‘Montagoonian’ was even a real word and, if so, was associated with the town of Montague. I got two results that related to my response to this question. The first was for an urban dictionary definition saying the word ‘montagoon’ (which, in my opinion, sounds very similar to Montagoonian) means “A caucasian goon. A white thug who goons in every situation.” So maybe George had heard the word ‘montagoon’ before and assumed that John was calling him and his wife white thugs. The second result was when I clicked on images and I got sight-seeing ads for the town of Montague. So maybe George knew what Montagoonian meant, but he was looking forward to telling the stranger where he was from.
I think John should have stopped calling the man a Montagoonian. Earlier, he says “I don’t impose my name usage on others” (241). So why does that not apply here? In my opinion, if the person does not like being called a nickname you gave them, you shouldn’t call them that.
- Saylor Billiau
Aden Perry
ReplyDeleteMr Joseph Deffner
English 9 Honours
06 October 2020
Look Me in the Eye - Prompt 1
In Look Me in the Eye by John Elder Robison, the author is a very logical thinker. He is logical enough that social interactions are very difficult. This, of course, poses several problems in navigating life. One such problem is offending people. There are many logical responses to many statements and situations that most people do not expect. For example, if Robison were to call someone fat it would be offensive, whether it is true or not. Once, Robison said a lawyer came was a Montagoonian because he came from Montague. The man became very offended. While he had every right to be offended, he should not complain.
The lawyer could be offended about any number of things. Perhaps he was offended that he was introduced by someone else. Perhaps he didn’t want to go shouting about how he was a Montagoonian. Perhaps he thought “Montagoonian” sounded weird, and he didn’t like it. Whatever the reason, he has every right in the world to be offended.
He does not, however, have the right to complain. He chose to live there, whether he likes it or not. He could have chosen to live in a different town, and he could have chosen to introduce himself before John did. He did neither of those things, however, and thus lost his right to complain.
Being offended is one thing. You have no control over how you feel, at least not in the short-term. Complaining, however, is a different subject altogether. Complaining is an action that is consciously performed. Robison is not completely right in his analysis, but he comes very close. If the lawyer does not want John to call him a Montagoonian, no matter how accurate it is, I believe John should comply. It hurts no one, though it is somewhat stupid on the lawyers part.
This is a great analysis of the prompt. I liked how you went through and explained the possible thoughts of the people specifically the lawyer. I think it's a tough question as of who was in the wrong but would agree with you generally. I think that because John is mentally unable or at-least prevented from not using nicknames it justifies him a bit. However since the lawyer has little content to Johns condition that might relieve him of some fault.
DeleteThis response is for prompt number one.
ReplyDeleteJohn’s habit of nicknaming people he meets is minorly amusing. It’s been interesting and funny to read the different names he gives to the people around him. I do find it intriguing that he doesn’t seem to be able remember people’s real names. Sometimes the names are a bit on the nose or insensitive, such as Slave and Stupid. Some of his names are also very impersonal, such as Unit 1 and Unit 2. Still others are affectionate and sweet, like Little Bear and Cubby. I do think that he should ask people if the nickname he’s given them is okay, and then stop if they don’t like it, or at least try to explain how hard it is for him to remember people’s names.
One specific instance of one of his less well received nicknames is his name for people from Montague. He introduced a man as his wife as Montigoonians, as they were from Montague. The man didn’t take this well and became offended and embarrassed. John personally found this reaction to be illogical and ridiculous. I partially agree, as John was just stating a fact, there was no reason to be offended. Then again, I do kind of understand why someone wouldn’t want to be referred to by such a foolish sounding name, as it can cause other people to take you less seriously. I’m not sure whether I think John should have stopped calling the man a Montagoonian just because he was offended. On one hand, he should probably have respected the man’s wishes, as it’s just the polite and courteous thing to do. On the other hand though, the man was being a little ridiculous getting offended at the title, no matter how weird it sounds. In a way John is right; if it matters that much to him, he should just move.